Some months ago k3mylois on youtube (k3josai on divine intervention, fanfiction.net and kryptonsite) asked me if I'd like to write a fafnic with her. I agreed and the stroy began.
Real life and time differences made it a little difficult to write it but some how we managed to finish. I have to say that most of this story is Josai's work. Without her this story wouldn't exist. But I really liked to do this and I thank her for challenging me and for her patience with me.
Then I want to thank Lily aka lilah1986 for her work as beta. You really helped to make this story better.
Josai made a vid for this fanfic. If you like you can watch it before reading.
SET YOU FREE
by k3josai and C_K_unlimited (barb1808, for those who already saw the story elsewhere)
Disclaimer: No copyright infrightment intended. We were only playing with the characters.
Scene I: Clark’s Farewell
Lois’s POV
He was out there somewhere. I was here, keeping myself busy by typing anything that came into my mind. My article was almost done. With few clicks on the keyboard and now, I pressed the period button it was finished. Glancing sideways, I saw my partner coming from out of nowhere with tousled hair and an unshaven face. He had slumped shoulders and unguarded eyes. He was not Smallville. Something was off, I could tell.
I stared at him, very much confused on his physical appearance. He sat on his chair without throwing any attention at me. I didn’t see him for almost four days; I never got any call, email, or text messages from him. I tried to reach him by calling his phone more than ten times only to be answered by his voice mail. We had been dating for two months, we were a couple as we both agreed and taking it slow was one of the rules that we both followed. Based on his actions or the lack of it flamed the mad dog Lane within me. Watching him work across my own desk and seeing how tired he was, the annoyance I had felt for him was replaced by worry. I gazed at him one more time; his full attention was on the computer screen. Déjà vu struck again, as if this already happened way back when. I needed to say something but I opted not to. I shifted my gaze to the blinking message on my desktop computer. It was from him. I looked up, expecting his sheepish grin but I was met by nothingness. He disappeared again, just like the old times. Without thinking twice, I stood and left.
Riding the elevator had been the most boring place for me this late afternoon. I tapped my left foot waiting for the door to open. I stepped outside as soon as it reached the last floor of the Daily Planet building, where Clark and I were working. There I was on the roof with him. He was facing the afternoon sun lowering on the horizon. In few minutes, the dark sky would consume the light. I wondered what was on his mind and what occupied most of it. There were times that I knew him more than I could understand my own self. Then there were times that I couldn’t figure out what was in the head of a certain farm boy and reporter… like today.
Few seconds after, I managed to say nothing but, “Hi!” It didn’t startle him. It was as if he knew that I was there already. He didn’t turn around when he started to speak.
“Lois, thanks for meeting me up here.”
My heart skipped a beat when I heard his voice again. I wanted to run and hug him right there. I missed him so much but I also sensed the scare that crept within me on the things he was about to say.
“You’re welcome, Smallville.” I sighed. “So?” I tried to humor my voice. I waited for him to speak though patience wasn’t one of my virtues. I counted from one to thirty, and then he spoke enough for me to comprehend.
“I have to say goodbye to you.” I stood still. My head almost exploded from what he told me. It couldn’t be.
“Goodbye? What do you mean goodbye?” I asked. The hurt in my voice couldn’t be hidden. It took another thirty seconds before he answered.
“I’m leaving Kansas indefinitely.” Did I hear it right? He was going to leave me for good. Wake up Lane, this is just a bad dream, isn’t it? I looked at his back with his head bowed. We were few steps apart and I couldn’t move from where I stood, something prevented me from doing it.
He took a deep breath as he continued, “La – Lana came back.” I was in a huge shock hearing her name again from him. My heart was crushed; I was trying so hard to breathe some oxygen. Without noticing, my hands on both sides were closed. I looked down, blinking back the tears that were about to fall. After all these years, it was still her; only her.
“We’re leaving Kansas.”
I listened to his broken voice. I didn’t want to hear another word. My heart and mind were incapable to process everything that had been laid in front of me. I heard his footsteps coming. I wanted to slap him hard, curse him, let him know what I felt right at this moment, but it was useless. Nothing would change the fact that he chose her over me. She was pretty, sweet, and damsel in distress-y and not hardheaded, loud-mouthed and independent like me.
“Lois, I’m so sorry.”
I’m sorry? I didn’t want him to say those words. I didn’t want him to pity me. Go on Lane, you’re a soldier; you can’t be hurt or wounded by a bullet or knife. He was just Clark Kent. You can face him with dignity and pride. Because of that, I inhaled and exhaled, I put on my mask – no one could ever read what was within me when I was wearing it. I looked up to be met with his pleading eyes. I smiled. I tried to fake a genuine smile and I succeeded. I reached out to embrace him for one last time.
“Lois?” He whispered.
I held him close. This way I could still feel his warmth and his heartbeat - his heart that had never been mine. And most importantly, to hide stray tears that fell from my eyes. He wouldn’t see how broken I was, I silently promised to myself.
“Fix your life Kent; I know you can do it. And don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.” My own words echoed in my mind.
“Thank you.” He choked again. His hold on me tightened a bit. I wondered if he was willing to let me go or not. His actions versus his words – which was the heavier? I didn’t know the answer.
“Too much gratitude back there huh?” I laughed painfully. I pulled out from his embrace. Suddenly I felt the coldness of the stiff air blowing my hair. I crossed my arms, trying to warm myself.
I punched him slightly on his chest and stared at him straight in the eyes, my smile never faded. His eyes focused on my face, searching something from the way he was looking at me. With one last stretch of bravery, I finally said. “Goodbye Clark.”
I didn’t wait for his reply, I turned around, and suddenly everything came into slow motion. I tried to feel nothing but a chilly early evening and a numb heart. My world collided, no one else knew, but me. I was setting him free. I was letting him use his wings to fly where he truly belonged. I reached the parking area, I don’t know how, but I managed to get there. Was I too strong to face this situation? Or was I just too hypocritical to give in? No matter what you do Lois; you can’t escape a battle without having any bruise or wound. I wiped another batch of tears that fell. Then I started the car’s engine. This was where Lois and Clark’s journey ended.
Scene II: One Last Look
CLARK’s POV
Minutes had passed since Lois left. I was still here – all alone on the top of the Daily Planet roof – wearing my office clothes. I kept repeating in my head that I made the right choice but my heart was telling me that it was the worst decision that I ever did in my entire life. For The Blur – the hero of Metropolis and the one they looked up to – that was the wisest thing to do, to turn my back on the one constant person who made my imperfect life complete. For Clark Kent – the mild manner reporter of Daily Planet – I needed her more than anything in this universe, Lois was my everything and she would always be. A few minutes ago, I broke her heart. I expected her to say all the hurtful things by not keeping my promise to her. I was just another proof of a man who made promises that were bound to be broken. I wanted her to hurt me physically - slap me, punch me, beat me – she needed to release all the pain that I brought her. I wanted her to get mad at me and make me feel guilty all the time. Looking at her, pleading helplessly, though I said few words I knew how things changed and our world crashed and burned. I thought she was going to break down but I realized it wasn’t her style. Locking all her emotions, she just smiled at me and never asked for further explanation. This was Lois. She was the one who understood unspoken truths. The only woman I loved and I would love more than forever. Tonight, I let her go. That was the toughest thing to do – my sacrifice. I should live with that. We were going to be fine. Definitely, we were going to be fine, soon… But everything was just a lie.
I replaced my suit in a second. Here I was, The Blur in his monotonous black attire. I opened my super hearing and carefully listened to any screams of help. I stood on the ledge and watched the stars up above and the city lights below the skyscrapers. I couldn’t tell the difference. Keeping the world safe meant to keep Lois safe too and let her live without knowing the truth about me. I closed my fists, I leapt up, ready to fight for Earth’s safety. But then I landed on one of the tallest buildings of Metropolis- my favorite place. This was from where I could see Lois freely. Unbeknownst to her, every night I was here keeping an eye on her. Tonight, it was going to end. There she was standing on the balcony of her apartment, shedding tears – nobody could even witness this but me. I was torn apart watching her vulnerable and defenseless, this wasn’t the Lois that I knew – full of life and hope. It wasn’t going to be as easy as I thought. I opened my voice modifier as I dialed her number.
When her cell phone rang, I saw Lois jumping in her chair.
I need a hero! I'm holding out for a hero 'til the end of the night...
She hesitated a moment. I wish I knew what was going on in her mind in that second.
“Hello?” Lois' voice sounded raspy like she hadn't been talking for a while.
“Good evening, Miss Lane! How are you?” My voice was deep and warped as usual and I saw Lois shivering a little.
She took a deep breath before she answered with the brightest fake-smile she could manage,
“I'm fine.”
I paused a second. I knew it wasn't true. Should I just accept her lie? I couldn't so I asked, “Are you sure?”
I heard Lois breathing in sharply. She dropped her shoulders and sighed. With my X-ray, I saw her eyes beginning to sparkle from unshed tears and her voice had a hint of drowning: “No. I'm not fine.”
A sad smile crossed my face. I knew Lois. She never hid something from me when I talked to her as the Blur.
“What's wrong?”
Down in the balcony of her apartment, Lois took all her courage and opened her heart to me,
“You know I was dating my colleague and one of my best friends. We knew each other for years. First, I couldn't stand him. Then I began slowly to fall for him. I even thought he could be you – for a moment.” Lois' words fell from her lips like a waterfall and hit me right in my heart. “When we were together I felt stronger and – safe. He drove me crazy – still does – and he made me smile.”
I shrunk in my black coat. It hurt to hear her wrapping up the story of our relation in such short words. They reminded me of all the good times we had spent together. But I had to ask the next question, the Blur would have to ask it although Clark Kent in me didn't want to, “What happened?”
I couldn't hide a little rasping in my voice. Lois hesitated for a second but then she went on slowly: “He broke up with me. He said he was still in love with his former girlfriend from high school who disappeared a while ago. A part of me tells me that he's lying but he's not the kind of guy who lies right to your face, you know. I never thought he could break my heart like that. I guess the reason why he never told me that he loved me was because no one could replace her in his heart. Of course, I don’t blame him. It’s my fault. I expected more than what he could give to me.”
The last sentence was barely a whisper but for me on the roof it was loud enough to echo in my heart.
“I'm sorry.” Was all I managed to say. My tongue felt like glued to my palatine.
With a sob, Lois replied, “It's not your fault. I am sorry that I lay all that on you. It's just – I don't want my friends to know how bad I feel since they're all his friends as well. I can't even tell my cousin because she is his best friend. You know I bury myself in work and as long as I do so, I get through the day. But when you asked – I just couldn't lie to you.”
Her words felt like knives stabbed into my heart.
What have I done?
She added, “Before, I was wondering what would happen if she came back. Will he choose her or me?” She paused for so long. It was too heartbreaking, I had to force myself not to sit down and tears blurred my vision. I switched off the X-ray. I couldn't see anything now anyway. But my hearing still followed Lois' heartbeat and her breathing reminded me of her presence on the phone.
I cleared my throat and whispered, “Close your eyes.” She did so without asking any questions. In a blur, I enveloped her in an embrace. She buried her face in my chest while sobbing earnestly. She whispered, “now, I know the answer.”
I cried too when she said those words. In a world full of wrong choices, I made another mistake in my life. It was so painful that we had to separate our ways like this. I rubbed her back trying to give her comfort and be here with her as The Blur, as her friend. When her sobs subsided, she said thank you without looking up. She might be afraid that I would disappear once she saw my face. With the last strength that I had, I loosened my hold on her. She hesitated for a while; I could sense it the way she held me. Later on, her hands fell on her sides. This was the time, the final letting go on my part. I kissed the top of her head, and then I disappeared before she could even open her eyes.
to be continued...